Almost Celeb Spots of the Week

So this week was fairly rubbish for me. At the beginning of the week I had a stomach bug AND a viral throat infection, and, just in time to see the doctor on Wednesday, managed to develop an ear infection too! This not only resulted in me feeling epically awful, but also going stir crazy in my tiny shoe-box of a bedroom.

Thus, those pesky celebs have evaded me for a week. However, on reading this week's copy of Heat magazine I made some frustrating discoveries. Heat's "Spotted" feature - a double-page spread listing celebrities that have been spotted out and about recently, and where they were seen - used to be a fun, if trivial, highlight of my fortnightly gossip-fest. But recently, or to be more precise, since I started working in Central London, it has become something more. Oxford Street, Regent Street, Mortimer Street, Margaret Street, Charlotte Street, Dean Street, Wardour Street... Not only do I know these streets like the back of my hand, but I walk along them every day.

"Spotted" is no longer something to wonder at ("Ooh... Keira Knightly was shopping at Tesco? I shop at Tesco!) or a form of light entertainment. "Spotted" is now, I believe, Heat's way of rubbing it in my face that some of my favourite stars grace the very pavements that my footprints are so well worn into. Ok, so maybe Britain's favourite glossy doesn't have it in for me, but it's still pretty damn annoying.

So, here Ladies and Gentlemen, are my "almost" Celeb Spots of the Week... We'll start with the most gutting of all, shall we?

- "Alicia Keys chatting furiously on her mobile phone as she left The Langham hotel in Regent Street, London." - The Langham hotel?! I pass by that hotel every single day on my way into work, not to mention sometimes walking past the entrance on the occasional run. Every time I linger a little longer to see who the swanky Bentley is waiting for, and every time I see nobobdy of interest. Alicia Keys?!

- "Pete Burns wearing a hideous outfit outisde Starbucks on Wardour Street, London." - Ok, so I don't actually care about missing Pete Burns, but i have always been intrigued to see for myself if he really is that ugly in the flesh. Shame.

- "Radio DJs Nick Grimshaw and Annie Mac meeting for lunch in Itsu in London's Soho." - Would have been cool, Annie Mac is a legend.

- "Alfie Allen and Jaime Winstone on Shaftesbury Avenue, central London..." - Not that great, but hey, I got excited about Fiona Phillips and Diane Louise Jordan...

- "Simon Pegg going into a sandwich shop on Charlotte Street, central London." - I've heard mixed things about this guy, but what a brilliant Celeb Spot that would have been!

And finally... and incredibly annoyingly...

- "Michael McIntyre rushing down Goodge Street, central London." - ARGH! I work SO close to Goodge Street, I walk along it most days. And Michael McIntyre is my FAVOURITE comedian. Excuse the slightly tasteless use of capitals, but there's no other way to convey my frustration. Michael McIntyre! As a Northern lass I used to be a die-hard Peter Kay fan, and I do still love the guy, but - sorry Peter - Michael stole my heart from the first time I saw him on Live At The Apollo. I have all his DVDs, and went to see him live last year in Lancaster with my old flatmates, also superfans of the floppy-haired funnyman.

One can only hope that he was doing what we all love him for; skipping whilst swinging both arms together...

Passer-by: "What are you doing, Michael?"

Michael: "I'm winning, that's what I'm doing!"






[Quotations taken from Heat, "Spotted", 16-22 January 2010]