I've made it no secret lately.... or at least through my Twitter and Facebook I've made it no secret... that I've been somewhat stuck in a rut for the past few weeks. A lot of things have been going on in my mind... work, family, living arrangements, personal life. Pretty bog standard stuff to be honest. But I think this "rut" has most likely been caused by something that I discussed not too long ago, my need to keep moving, my "itchy feet syndrome".
No, I don't have some sort of itch-inducing condition in my extremities. I've just been through so much change lately, and moved from all sorts of pillar to every kind of post, that my four-month-long routine of stability, and prolonged "work-sleep-work-sleep-work" periods, has meant that I've become a little frustrated.
It's a good thing. Contrary to my many "FML" tweets and Facebook status updates detailing many a painfully monotonous day, it's good that I'm not allowing myself to become complacent, and that I'm ready for the next challenge. It keeps me working hard at my current job, but also mindful that I won't be here forever, and that I need to keep bettering myself in order to keep moving towards my goal.
I just seem to have forgotten to take my own advice is all. I've been thinking too much into the things I - actually, quite wisely - told others to push to the back of their minds, so as not to get bogged down with doubt, worry or intimidation.
Who knows, maybe I really do need to move on now. It's just so difficult, what with the risk of losing financial stability from my now full-time job, rent to pay each month, and my "plan B" being 200 miles away in everyone's favourite seaside resort.
I'm sticking it out for now. Not because I'm in any way "settling"; I enjoy my job. Yeah, it's bloody stressful sometimes, but I'm a runner. You take on other people's stress and try to make it lighter. And soon I will move on, because everybody does. Right now I'm making the most of the great environment I work in, partly by learning some new things with the tech department.
So. Don't worry about me. Not that you were, but I've had a fair few texts beginning with "I've seen some of you're statuses...." and ending with "...Call me if you need a chat." For which I'm very grateful, because it gets a little lonely sometimes in the Big Smoke. But honestly, I just need to sort myself out a little, and listen to myself for once.
We've all been in those ruts. And I AM here if you need to vent somewhere :D Hey, you know we really should have a London blogger meet up at some point, I've already become nearly real friends with another London blogger, we should get a community going, haha!
ReplyDeleteheyyyyyyyy you - ditto 'Stephen K', we HAVE all been in those ruts, myself included, obv! Best advice I can give (not that you asked for it but here it is anyway!), is to really 'take your own temperature' and know exactly how you feel and WHY, and try to work with that; to keep in touch with friends and family as much as possible, even in a trivial way; to tackle whatever you think is bothering you head on and not push it to the side - I don't know if you do that but it causes horrible side effects :S
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget, even if it sucks a lot of the time, you ARE in a freaking amazing cosmopolitan city and we North Americans would kill to be living where you are! :P anyway, hope you get out of the rut soon :) xx