"Well... my symptoms include itchy feet and chronic daydreaming......"

I've been doing a lot of pondering lately (yes, it's one of those posts...) ...and here's something I know for sure:

I want to move to Toronto.

I always have, ever since my first visit to my brother in 1999. I've been a few times since, and my month-long visit last year completely confirmed and increased my desire to do so. I don't honestly think I want to move there permanently - I'm incredibly close to my family so would never want to be apart from them forever - but definitely for at least a couple of years. I just have a love for Toronto that I know I'm never going to have for any other destination on earth. It feels like a home away from home. My love for the city is a deep and entirely rational one, as opposed to the love I have for other places that I would never realistically emigrate to. And I honestly think I will do it. I planned to next summer, but then I moved to London, and I definitely need to carry on with my career for a while.

Now here's another bit of 'ponder-fodder'....

I want to do a filmmaking Masters in America.

I have been on the emailing list for the New York Film Academy for a good while now, but today I printed out an application form. It's probably not the one I would go for - I want to do the Filmmaking MA which they only do at the Disney Studios in Florida or in Abu Dhabi, and I would really like to do it in New York or California. Also I can't think too much into it yet because I need to significantly bump up my portfolio before I can apply. But I want to do it. I didn't want to do a Masters when I graduated, and I definitely would only do it if it was as practical-based as this particular course. I would not be able to stand another year of university otherwise!

I've realised, while pondering these two potentially life-altering decisions, that I have a slight travel bug. My small glimpse of the world this summer, followed by my spontaneous relocation to London has given me itchy feet. Even though I'm doing well in London, have great contacts in the industry and a good job prospects.... I'm ready to move on again.

That was the most difficult part of settling into my job here at the post-production company, and was something I didn't expect. I found myself within a few weeks thinking about where I might be moving onto next, and worrying about staying put too long. Both things that even now I don't need to worry about too much, but an obvious result of a manic few months.

I obviously need to get away again. Not so much need.... but want to.... and I honestly think while you're young and have the desire to see something more than your own back yard, that equals need. Which will it be? Will I move to Toronto, something I actually can't wait to do, and something that my putting-off has frustrated me a great deal? Or will I up sticks for the US and hopefully give my career a little potential boost, which would involve big worries about funding but would be something that I would love every second of?

Or... will I end up doing neither one? I hope not. I hope in my next few months - or couple of years - in London, nothing happens to halt either plan. I also hope that I get over the itchy feet for a while. Because I really do love London, and although I daydream about moving across the pond on a regular basis, when I really think about it....

....I don't want to leave the Big Smoke just yet.